Claire’s face overpowers your thoughts. The memory of her staring back at you after she found the gun burns into your mind. It consumes you, driving away Toney and his his cautionary warning. You leave Lance’s gun taped to the back of the sink and proceed to the wedding. Throughout the entire ceremony, Gail, as Claire’s Maid-of-Honor, continues to tease you, licking her lips and subtly shifting the curves of her light green dress. Her actions drive set your blood on fire, but every time your eyes meet you feel a fresh slick of sweat develop across your back.
Out of the corner of your eye and through the open front doors of the church, you see the driver of Lance’s Mustang drive up to the church and stop. The Reverend is reading his final passage from the gospel when you see a young woman with wild, blonde hair and dark sunglasses roll her window down. She turns her head and takes one look at you before slapping the steering wheel of the car and speeding away again.
Your breath stops.
You know her—she was coming for you.
Your whole body begins to physically slouch. Inside, it feels as if your guts have just fallen to the floor and it will be any moment now before you collapse on top of them.
The wedding ends and you kiss your new bride, right in front of her father and her sister, without any feeling at all. Turning away from the altar, you try your best to smile as you walk through the cheering crowd. Each one of them gushes with excitement and praise as they hug and congratulate Claire. All the while, nobody seems to even notice you.
Except one.
But it’s not her.
At the front door of the church, your old friend, Toney Whitmore is sitting in a folding chair, separated from the rest of the crowd. He’s the only black man in the entire room. Gone is his usual zest and perpetual smile. He stares at you with solemn, knowing eyes and only offers his hand as you pass by. Taking it in yours, he refuses to say a word and simply nods back toward the bedroom he had talked to you in earlier.
From that moment onward, your life becomes the life of a servant. Now legally bonded to the Coates family name, you truly become nothing more than another one of their possessions. Being married to Claire, Gail no longer sees any interest in you and after one night of hurried consummation, Claire never sleeps in the same room as you again.
Your focus dwindles. You struggle to keep yourself together. You are rarely seen away from the church and whenever you are, you’re hovering in the shadow of the Reverend himself. Every chance you can, you search the streets leading to the church, desperate to see one more glimpse of Lance’s Mustang and the blonde-haired girl that was driving it.
That sight however, never comes.
On the eve of your first year wedding anniversary, as the sun is going down and you’re just finishing your cleanup of the orchid beds on the south lawn, you reach for Lance’s gun. Setting your shovel into the wheelbarrow, you dig through one of the many emptied bags of fresh soil and put the Peacemaker in your hand. Staring into the trees beyond the edge of Jessup, you put the barrel in your mouth and pull the trigger.
BOOM!
Your brains explode through the top of your head and rain down against the side of the First Missionary Baptist Church behind you. You haven’t prepared a note. You haven’t told anyone of your intentions. Your last thoughts are those of knowing that you made the wrong decision and it cost you everything. The Coates family will find your body and work with the local police to neatly clean up your mess. The accident will be written off as a charity tax credit when they claim that you suffered great mental illness. They’ll follow that up with a generous, heartfelt prayer, a small fundraiser and then all will be forgiven.
Your body will be brought to the morgue, but your death will never be made public. You won’t be given a headstone and, because the Coates Family will see to it, you will be erased from Diesel County like you never existed at all.